The first ever “Dark & Stormy Night” contest on HubPages is over, and we have a grand winner! Congratulations to Teresa McGurk, who wowed us with this awesomely bad gem of sweet, sweet literary torture:
- Years later—four, or maybe five, if not six or seven, but really, now that she thought about it carefully, no more than nine, or nine and a half, anyway—she would remember that day (however many years previously) as being the first (or if not the first, then nearly the first; perhaps it was the second) time she had ever known the silent pangs of envy—those creeping, soul-destroying, rampantly pernicious tendrils of despair—at knowing that she stood outside the plated palaces of all that she had longed for and had believed herself worthy of attaining, or, if not attaining, of having thrust upon her by an outward force of destined opulence and outright entitlement to majesty that she now realized was not to be, was never to be, could never have been, and all she could then envision for her future was the bleakest of attainments: the second-rate perch of a tawdry, failed presumptive; an armoire of the cast-off robes of superannuated ministration; and the mealy, dun-colored appurtenances of shadow-dwelling officiates in the sequestered gloom of servile, downward-gazing, lick-spittle lackeys who know nothing of the amenities, indulgences, and superfluities of success.
Could it get any better… ahem, worse… than that? There are no prizes, other than the official title of the Best Worst Writer on HubPages, and this fabulous virtual trophy, forged by the contest’s host, lmmartin:
With all the community support, it looks like we’ll be running a Dark & Stormy Night contest annually. So start practicing your awfullest, terriblest writings… if the competition is anything like this year, it’s going to be stiff!